I have so many friends waiting for Kent Test results. I feel for them. I still remember the day I got the council email with my daughter’s test verdict. The email said, ‘not suitable for grammar school.’ My daughter took that to mean, ‘You failed. You’re not smart.’

It’s such careful language, isn’t it? People say, ‘you didn’t pass,’ but is that really kinder than using the ‘f’ word? They must hope the children who fail won’t see the truth. It’s a horrible system, and seems impossible to shift. Everyone hates the stress of it, but the reward of a grammar school place for many seems to make them forget the rest.

Today I received my child’s 11 plus exam result. It’s not ‘good’ news. I felt sad considering how hard my child had worked for it. I remembered seeing a gray hair on his head on the exam day, and I felt so guilty and heartbroken that he suffered enormous pressure beforehand and will suffer the results afterwards. I didn’t know how to tell him the outcome as he is still in school, but this forum gives me some insight. Thank you all for sharing your stories and thoughts. Appreciated.

When I sat the 11+ 1969 it was just another day in school. No fuss was made we sat the papers and that was it. When the results came out no one opened them, they went straight home to parents. I handed mine to my dad and knew I had not scored the minimum magic number( I would love to have know my score at least) as he said nothing. In school it was discussed with peers what school we were attending in the September and that was it. Practice papers and tuition was unheard of. At no point did I feel a failure. However I did feel the options for a career were very limited either nursing or office work was the choice for females. No one went on to University in my year. If you want to learn you will regardless of where you go for Senior School.

My twin sister and older brother, were both Grammar School stream , I was Secondary Modern stream, my siblings both attended a very heavily subsidised International Science Fortnight in London, parents of children attending only paid a very small token amount, attendance at the event was not available for Secondary Modern children.

Child sat the Trafford entrance exam. Tutoring to pass the exam is now the norm – How does this reduce the attainment gap between children from affluent and less affluent backgrounds?

Many children sit the exam from outside catchment, taking places away from local children.

They have one shot at the exam, meaning a child working at greater depth could have a bad day omntje exam day and be deemed as not grammar material. There is no 12 plus second chance.

Too much pressure at age 10.

Living I’m a Grammar Town in Lincolnshire is like living in an Apartheid-mild state, where segregation is based on 10 year olds (as the tests are so early in the Academic year, most of the kids are still 10) being shoved through countless £30-50 /h tuition sessions, mock tests and holiday booster weeks.

Middle class parents, wealthy grandparents and the Independent School flirting upper middle class press their 9 and 10 year olds through 11+ preparations from as early as the Summer Holiday just before Year 5. [Note the changes to Independent School VAT has driven our local Grammar to it’s highest ever Application rate, over 700 applicants for 200+ places].

It is a circus where the show pivots around; ‘Keeping Up With the Jones’ social-status alongside the ‘right’ car on the drive and pseudo Eco-credentials.

Parents not realising that the GCSE results at the Grammar schools are not a product of the school’s efforts but rather a result of the academic selective entry.

Disturbing cryptically-spoken ‘selective breeding’ opportunities for their offspring.

My child, against my wishes but inline with my partner’s determination, has been subject to the Tuition ‘Hunger Games’ for over 18 months.

I’ve spent months praising effort over outcome, walking a fine line of supportive encouragement and realistic rationalisation of the situation we find ourselves in. Neither my partner nor I grew up in a Grammar town, we certainly would not have passed at 10 years old, we were both slow to adapt to education and have ‘succeeded’ in the salary arena later in our lives. However, friends of ours from the town are institutionalised and conditioned to this 11+ experience, having attended themselves and wishing the same of their children.

My child has had multiple bouts of tears around ‘being seen a stupid’ or in their words “Everyone will think I’m dumb if I don’t get in”.

I’ve explained at length that in all reality in six years time they will sit potentially the exact same GCSEs on the exact same day, at the exact same time in the exact same town, simply separated by a mile; as both of the local secondaries are both part of the same exams process. I’ve explained that effort along with reviewing errors and mistakes, learning from them and looking for improvement are more valuable life-long skills than Verbal and Non-verbal reasoning tests.

I’ve explained that Grammar schools make little sense when there is no technical school equivalent. I’ve explained that in all likelihood AI will dramatically reduce the value of university requiring traditional professional type jobs and that either soft skills or manual skills will be the big demand of the near future. This is the hope for many parents, that their children follow the same academic conveyer belt route to the same type of jobs and salaries – I don’t think the increasingly internationally competitive job markets of 2035 will hold the same easy pivot points as it has for my parents and some of my generation.

I’ve explained that this whole experience is toxic, how it divides our town, how it segregates all too uncomfortable along household income boundaries and creates ‘I’m Smart / I’m Dumb’ dialogues in our children’s minds.

I’m looking for positives from this whole experience. The few I can grasp for are; my child has learned about formal testing long before the skills are needed (hopefully not too far in advance for them to be lost), my child has enjoyed at times the feeling of unlocking new methods of tackling paper based problems and they have, with my regular re-enforcement, learned that effort and reflection trump short term outcomes.

We have celebrated the end of the tests and my child’s efforts. We will celebrate in the exact same way on results weekend regardless of the outcome. I want child to learn that effort and resilience have been the real reward.

It’s absolutely wrong. I don’t know one parent who supports it but if you don’t put your child forward, you’re effectively telling them you don’t believe in them, and if you do, you’re often setting them up to “fail”. Most places do without it, Kent should too.

I remember the day I took my 11-Plus exam in 1973 … not that I knew it at the time. I can even remember exactly where I sat in the room. I attended a small two-teacher village school in Suffolk. After arriving at school that day, myself and my five or so same-year friends were unceremoniously ordered into the Infant Classroom, each told to sit at a desk, and to fill in the form in front of us. After struggling through this thing, we all went back to normal lessons. A few weeks later we were all told that we’d failed our 11-Plus, and it only then dawned on any of us that we’d actually taken it!

As had (in any case) always been understood, I and my friends all went off to the local Comprehensive the following year. That year my best friend from the same school, who was a year younger than me, passed his 11-Plus with flying colours and went off to a Grammar School in Ipswich. Having then lost touch, we eventually met up again in our late teens and it was while sitting in a pub, reminiscing about school, that he questioned how I could have failed my 11-Plus while he passed his with ease.

It soon became clear to us that his 11-Plus experience had been quite different from mine and that, while he’d been supplied with learning resources weeks in advance of the exam, neither I, or any of my same-year friends, had received any such preparation. My friend was quite upset and disgusted that I’d not received the same help, as he knew others who had. It was only when we noted that they, like him, had all come from middle class backgrounds, that the penny finally dropped – as all my friends from my year were from working class families, mainly, like me, with farm working parents.

I don’t of course begrudge any success that my friend had in life, but I’ve always known since then, that my own progress through life was diminished by a corrupt system that deliberately attempted to prevent pupils from lower backgrounds from even having a chance of high achievement. However, despite this attempt to hold me in my place, I went on to be an engineer and the first in my family’s history to gain a professional trade. More satisfyingly, both my children are high flyers, with one of them listed as amongst the country’s best in her chosen profession. And I’m sure mine isn’t the only example of showing up a despicably corrupt system and those who implemented it.

I remember clear as day, receiving the failure slip and my best friend passing. The same beat friend no longer wanting to be my friend as she was destined for a better life. That hurt, shame and loss has never left me. I went on to the local rough comp. I studied hard, did well and went on eventually to get a first class degree. I still feel like an imposter. I can still feel that hurt like it was yesterday. I e never shaken the feeling of not being good enough.

Sadly I live in a selective borough and my son is now going through the same. I feel for him. I am determined for him to feel different if he isn’t selective. I am feeling the pain all over again. In some ways if he doesn’t pass I failed again.

Going to a junior secondary the teachers were encouraging , went on to do first year of O Levels passed and requested to attend senior secondary and was allowed to complete 5th and sixth year with the support and encouragement of wonderful teachers . Completing Highers allowed access to train for Teaching diploma and degree in Occupational Therapy as a second career .All these years later failing made me more determined to achieve goals .Exams do not define you as a person .

I was top of my class when I took the exam, when the results came out I was told I’d failed so I went to a secondary modern school. On my first day we were given a test, the following day I was called into the headmasters room and was told I was in the wrong school. I told him I had failed the exam.

Many years later I bumped into a friend who I hadn’t seen since junior school who’d passed. He told me I had actually passed the exam and the reason I didn’t go to grammar school was because I was from a very large family. 10 of us. The LEA decided they couldn’t afford uniforms and other things and that was the reason they failed me. It still rankles with me, after 63 year of this. I have no doubt this was going on in the 60s. Anyone with a large family was ostracised.

I’m scared i wont pass 11 plus

Having failed the 11 plus in Buckinghamshire, my daughter went to our local nonselective school, from which she went on to Cambridge University and there achieved a First in her English degree – so much for the mantra repeated in our county’s primary schools that the 11 plus selects you for the school most suited to you! We withdrew our second and third daughters from the 11 plus, they too went to our local nonselective school and on to receive firsts from Durham and UEA respectively! Much of the hard work to achieve this they did themselves in difficult educational circumstances due to under resourcing and low aspirations at their secondary school.

The 11 plus decides whether or not a child is of grammar school standard but compared to all other academic exams GCSE, A’levels and even undergraduate level exams it is perhaps the unfairest.

Firstly the 11+ is perhaps the only exam without actual past papers only sample papers are available for pupils to revise from. But the length and actual time to complete the exam can UNEXPECTEDLY differ on the real day!

My niece recently did the 11+ and had been told by her tutor in addition to umpteen mocks and online papers, the English paper would be 56 questions and one piece of comprehension, all to be done in 50 minutes. Every sample paper was like that. She spent many months preparing for that! She was averaging 80% in mocks. Well with the pass threshold. The actual exam was 2 pieces of comprehension, 64 questions and only 45 minutes to complete it! That was very underhand. She failed to complete it all.

That would never happen with GCSEs or A’Levels. Students know how many questions they will have and how long to do them.

Secondly unlike other exams, pupils/ parents do not get the actual score for the exam either as a figure or percentage. They’re only told if they passed or failed. With GCSEs, A’levels and undergraduate exams students can get the scores they did for each section. Not with the 11+! The very way it is assessed is very opaque. How can there be any fairness in an exam where parents have no idea how well their child did?

To enter grammar there is no actual pass mark, it’s decided each year. Without an actual percentage mark or grade given to each pupil there is little to no grounds for any kind of appeal. The whole selection system is as clear as mud.

I took my 11 plus in 1970 and passed. I got my pick of grammar schools in the area and my parents (who’d both left school at 13) were at a loss as to what came next. At 13, my 120 pupil year was split into 60 Upper and 60 Lower – the lower girls were taught typing and shorthand and steered to become secretaries, lower boys were taught computer coding and told to think about being computer technicians. The upper school was allowed to take a second foreign language and a more detailed science track. About one pupil in four (all from the Upper half) went on to A-level, and those who passed came face to face with reality; if your parents could afford to forego your wages for three years, you could argue the case to go on to university. About ten of the original 120 made it into professional jobs at 21 (I wasn’t one of them). It was a chance for decent free education for the working class that has now disappeared into those who can pay for education and those who can just hope their school’s not too bad.

I was unlucky enough to be in the final cohort of those taking the test for determining schools. I failed. I still feel the utter humiliation even at 60! All the children I knew had passed so I joined a new school with no friends and low self-esteem from which I never recovered. I was taunted by the neighbours (my father was a teacher but my parents had just divorced). My mother remained convinced that I was thick or stupid and hadn’t tried hard enough.

My sister took the exam the following year and of course passed ( even though the test had already been phased out in Leicester and she ended up at the same Comprehensive School as me). The fact that she passed the 11+ which I had failed was insurmountable and gave my narcissistic mother the ammunition she needed to differentiate us! My sister was the Golden Child whilst I was earmarked as low achieving, dim, no hoper and worst of all ….I simply hadn’t tried hard enough in her eyes !!

Ironically I have outperformed my sister on many fronts and did manage to get a degree, masters and professional qualifications and had a high flying career. But even now stigma remains from that terrible test! My sister is still lauded by the family for her intelligence whereas I was thick but just got lucky!!!

I took the 11-plus exam, alongside my classmates, as a matter of course. I remember opening my results letter and feeling upset that I hadn’t passed. Another girl in my class had also just opened her results letter and was kissing the envelope, ecstatically, having just discovered that she had passed. She went off to the grammar school and I went to the local secondary modern school. I didn’t see her again until years later, after I got my ‘O’ level results. She had failed all of hers and I had passed all of mine! I went on to do my nurse training and, at the ripe old age of 53, successfully gained a BA Honours in English Literature. My initial feelings of failure took some time to change into feelings of self worth, but I got there in the end. I must admit that, looking back, it does seem to be a flawed and unfair system for choosing who should go to grammar school and who is not worthy!

If you have siblings and you all pass the 11 Plus great for all concerned. If you and your siblings all fail the 11 Plus sad but manageable, how ever if a sibling passes the 11 Plus and the other does not you and your siblings no longer have shared experiences. An emotional fault line develops parents and successful siblings have no idea of the massive long term emotional and psychological damage done to the developing child, in my case life long severe clinical depression and at times when at school contemplating suicide.

I am an immigrant and a Pharmacist. When I decided to I enter my daughter for 11 plus, not knowing exactly what it entailed, I bought books to try and help her thinking as I was academic it was going to be easy. I soon realised that non-verbal reasoning was something I couldn’;t do.

I came to the Uk as a late teen, did my A levels and got an ABB in maths, chemistry and biology and even after a 2:1 in Master of Pharmacy I can’t pass a non-verbal reasoning paper. Had I been raised in this country and sat for the 11 plus, I would have failed and gone through all my life thinking I wasn’t clever enough.

I put my daughter through it and she failed and I blame myself to this day! If I had known better, I wouldn’t have let her sit for this test.

I took my test in 1998, the only support my Mother offered was making me sit at the dinner table writing lines “I want to go to grammar school like my cousins” she wanted me to go to the best grammar school in the area, just so that she could brag about it. The school is notoriously hard to get into.

I knew nothing about the school, nothing about what the 11+ would be like, and most of all, I had no support, just pressure. The pressure I felt from my school teacher “fail to prepare, prepare to fail” and from my abusive Mother was horrendous. The summer prior to this I had been given revision work to complete over the summer and I hid it, because I knew what my Mother was like. I knew I would inevitably end up being beaten because I had answered things incorrectly etc.

I failed my test by a few marks and ended up going into a grammar stream at the closest secondary to our house instead. After that though, I felt like a write-off. Not just to my Mother, but to the relatives who were also pushing me and to the school too. The few kids that passed were treated like Olympians at my junior school and had special privileges etc.

My child has this year not met the required mark to class as ‘Suitable for Grammar’ on his 11+, he had tuition, support and empathy from us the entire time, and do you know what? I couldn’t give a damn that he didn’t pass. He is a bright, funny, inquisitive, kind and confident boy and he will be amazing wherever he goes. I will not allow an exam to take that away from my child. I cannot deal with the snobbish remarks we are receiving from those who attended Gramma themselves or those whose children did, all I hear is appeal, appeal, appeal, absolutely no regard for my child’s mental health and well-being if he DID by some miracle get in on appeal. I will not allow my child to feel like he isn’t good enough, you can do amazing things in life, no matter what school you go to.