We were so happy for him when he passed with the qualifying score just above the cut off mark. But then he found out that all of his friends scored significantly higher and are pretty much guaranteed a place at the grammar school, whilst his score is too low to have a chance.

Now I feel like we have failed because everyone tutored intensively and we didn’t. And this is the problem with the eleven plus. It’s all about how much tutoring a child has. We took the test in the spirit it was meant in, we did a few practice papers at home the summer before the test. But of course, whilst we didn’t tutor, other parents did. I’m proud of my son for doing this test and passing it off his own accord.

Even though I’m glad we didn’t tutor him, and that instead of stressing him out with additional tutoring after school and in the holidays, instead did sports, arts, creative projects, we went travelling, camping, hiking, to music festivals, spending time with friends and family. And yet. The 11 plus system is making me feel like a failure for not trying harder as a parent, getting a tutor and giving him the same opportunity as his friends did.

I know that none of this matters in the long run. But I can’t shake off the feeling that everyone else ‘played the game’ and because we didn’t, my son will miss out on an opportunity thar his friends will have.

Thank you to everyone who has posted their reality. It has helped and brushed up my thoughts about the 11+. It has helped me prepare on how to handle the situation in whatever the result outcome is, my DS has been really nervous awaiting the result……I felt so sorry.

I didn’t even know much or think of him sitting for the exam (because of the catchment area) until six months (February 2024)before the exam. He said to me, I don’t mind trying it! Yes, good start I wanted him to, so I encouraged him, but let him know that whatever the result, we are good. Trust me he really wants to attend a good secondary school, also didn’t want to disappoint himself or us. He worked really hard.

He started tuition for the 1st time on the 9th of March. It was a bit of struggle, I practised past questions with him and his homework. Honestly, like someone mentioned, had I personally sat the exam, I would have failed the non verbal reasoning no doubt. I learnt some part of it while studying with him.

My DS sat the Bexley 11+ and Kent 11+ in September 2024. The Bexley result was released two days ago and thank God he PASSED. He is sooooo happy, I am too. We are waiting for the Kent result which would be out this week. Hopefully he makes it too.

Whatever school he finds himself, he would excel by God’s grace and with our support.

Thanks to everyone, your stories are a eye opener to the different phase of grammar school experience.

Child sat the Trafford entrance exam. Tutoring to pass the exam is now the norm – How does this reduce the attainment gap between children from affluent and less affluent backgrounds?

Many children sit the exam from outside catchment, taking places away from local children.

They have one shot at the exam, meaning a child working at greater depth could have a bad day omntje exam day and be deemed as not grammar material. There is no 12 plus second chance.

Too much pressure at age 10.

Living I’m a Grammar Town in Lincolnshire is like living in an Apartheid-mild state, where segregation is based on 10 year olds (as the tests are so early in the Academic year, most of the kids are still 10) being shoved through countless £30-50 /h tuition sessions, mock tests and holiday booster weeks.

Middle class parents, wealthy grandparents and the Independent School flirting upper middle class press their 9 and 10 year olds through 11+ preparations from as early as the Summer Holiday just before Year 5. [Note the changes to Independent School VAT has driven our local Grammar to it’s highest ever Application rate, over 700 applicants for 200+ places].

It is a circus where the show pivots around; ‘Keeping Up With the Jones’ social-status alongside the ‘right’ car on the drive and pseudo Eco-credentials.

Parents not realising that the GCSE results at the Grammar schools are not a product of the school’s efforts but rather a result of the academic selective entry.

Disturbing cryptically-spoken ‘selective breeding’ opportunities for their offspring.

My child, against my wishes but inline with my partner’s determination, has been subject to the Tuition ‘Hunger Games’ for over 18 months.

I’ve spent months praising effort over outcome, walking a fine line of supportive encouragement and realistic rationalisation of the situation we find ourselves in. Neither my partner nor I grew up in a Grammar town, we certainly would not have passed at 10 years old, we were both slow to adapt to education and have ‘succeeded’ in the salary arena later in our lives. However, friends of ours from the town are institutionalised and conditioned to this 11+ experience, having attended themselves and wishing the same of their children.

My child has had multiple bouts of tears around ‘being seen a stupid’ or in their words “Everyone will think I’m dumb if I don’t get in”.

I’ve explained at length that in all reality in six years time they will sit potentially the exact same GCSEs on the exact same day, at the exact same time in the exact same town, simply separated by a mile; as both of the local secondaries are both part of the same exams process. I’ve explained that effort along with reviewing errors and mistakes, learning from them and looking for improvement are more valuable life-long skills than Verbal and Non-verbal reasoning tests.

I’ve explained that Grammar schools make little sense when there is no technical school equivalent. I’ve explained that in all likelihood AI will dramatically reduce the value of university requiring traditional professional type jobs and that either soft skills or manual skills will be the big demand of the near future. This is the hope for many parents, that their children follow the same academic conveyer belt route to the same type of jobs and salaries – I don’t think the increasingly internationally competitive job markets of 2035 will hold the same easy pivot points as it has for my parents and some of my generation.

I’ve explained that this whole experience is toxic, how it divides our town, how it segregates all too uncomfortable along household income boundaries and creates ‘I’m Smart / I’m Dumb’ dialogues in our children’s minds.

I’m looking for positives from this whole experience. The few I can grasp for are; my child has learned about formal testing long before the skills are needed (hopefully not too far in advance for them to be lost), my child has enjoyed at times the feeling of unlocking new methods of tackling paper based problems and they have, with my regular re-enforcement, learned that effort and reflection trump short term outcomes.

We have celebrated the end of the tests and my child’s efforts. We will celebrate in the exact same way on results weekend regardless of the outcome. I want child to learn that effort and resilience have been the real reward.

It’s absolutely wrong. I don’t know one parent who supports it but if you don’t put your child forward, you’re effectively telling them you don’t believe in them, and if you do, you’re often setting them up to “fail”. Most places do without it, Kent should too.

The 11 plus decides whether or not a child is of grammar school standard but compared to all other academic exams GCSE, A’levels and even undergraduate level exams it is perhaps the unfairest.

Firstly the 11+ is perhaps the only exam without actual past papers only sample papers are available for pupils to revise from. But the length and actual time to complete the exam can UNEXPECTEDLY differ on the real day!

My niece recently did the 11+ and had been told by her tutor in addition to umpteen mocks and online papers, the English paper would be 56 questions and one piece of comprehension, all to be done in 50 minutes. Every sample paper was like that. She spent many months preparing for that! She was averaging 80% in mocks. Well with the pass threshold. The actual exam was 2 pieces of comprehension, 64 questions and only 45 minutes to complete it! That was very underhand. She failed to complete it all.

That would never happen with GCSEs or A’Levels. Students know how many questions they will have and how long to do them.

Secondly unlike other exams, pupils/ parents do not get the actual score for the exam either as a figure or percentage. They’re only told if they passed or failed. With GCSEs, A’levels and undergraduate exams students can get the scores they did for each section. Not with the 11+! The very way it is assessed is very opaque. How can there be any fairness in an exam where parents have no idea how well their child did?

To enter grammar there is no actual pass mark, it’s decided each year. Without an actual percentage mark or grade given to each pupil there is little to no grounds for any kind of appeal. The whole selection system is as clear as mud.

My daughter would have passed the 11+, except for one easy mistake – in multiple choice section she filled in the answer boxes in the wrong section. Just shows what a silly, arbitrary test the 11+ is. We shouldn’t be making decisions about where children spend 7 years of their life on this basis!

I witnessed somethings that were heartbreaking. I was waiting with all other parents for our kids to come out and one girls in floods tears came out first looking for her mum. It’s just awful.

My son did his GL last week. He was anxious but managed to go in and do it. A little girl that went in before him turned at the door and ran out to her parent crying. I was heartbroken for them.

We rocked up to the exam hall, my son was anxious but smiling – it will be what it will be. As I walk back I meet a girl standing by her mother, half way up, totally paralysed with fear. I rub her shoulders to cheer her up. “She worked so hard for this,” said her mum. This is state-sponsored child abuse.

My son didn’t enter the Kent Test. It’s dated, irrelevant and pointless. You shine and progress with the correct attitude, guidance and love. The other children took the test while my son had a free play day at school.

We spoke to numerous parents when picking up our child after the exam. Not one of the was from the local area with some having travelled many miles. We live in the area but it is highly unlikely our son will pass and get in. The undue stress this causes to a child is absolutely unnecessary. If all the schools were at the same level then this wouldn’t be an issue and all kids would get a great education in their local area. I think the sick on the pavement outside of the school before the exam says it all.

We had two children and we got a tutor, worked with our kids on previous tests, downloaded tests and comments from the Internet – they passed.

Our next door neighbours allowed their children to take their own chances – they failed.

What a nasty, divisive, small-minded test of parenting – I’m not proud of what we did but it was the society we lived in – the sooner the 11+ and Grammar schools are consigned to the same dustbin as putting children up chimneys, rickets and smallpox the better.

My children are very intelligent, fantastic at science, art, history and can blow you away with their self-learned knowledge. But because they struggle with rote academia and learn differently (can’t remember times tables but then can do incredibly complicated mental maths when they want to) they were seen as failures by their mainstream schools and there is no way they would be put forward for the 11+, despite over approximately half of NASA scientists being dyslexic. Secondary school would not allow them to study the subjects they were interested in. They managed to get into University by a more convoluted route, and University enables them and supports and understands their SEN’s unlike the rest of the education system, which treated them either as difficult, stupid or an effort to provide for. Instead of grammar schools we need a complete rethink of our education system because it is breaking children’s confidence and not recognising their strengths.

The Kent test was held last Thursday and the scene outside my granddaughter’s school gate were terrible with 10 and 11 year olds crying and holding into parents. It’s a wicked thing to do to children who are being hammered with the importance of the test.

As the exam day drew closer, nerves amongst the parents of other children were contagious and I had many sleepless nights worrying about the exam. On the day of the first exam, I felt physically sick. My daughter sat three exams and was so exhausted after the third that she looked ill. I felt horribly guilty for putting her through it but felt I had no other option due to Trafford being wholly selective. Luckily she passed but most of her friends did not, so her friendship circles were broken up, adding to her worries about leaving primary school.